


peter's disastrous field trip

by SuperfamilyFan



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, F/M, Field Trip, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries, Peter is a Bi disaster, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home, Stark Industries, Stucky - Freeform, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, basically no one died, friday is a traitor, natasha is a mama bear, peter and nat speak russian to each other, you can't fight me on this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23647252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperfamilyFan/pseuds/SuperfamilyFan
Summary: Peter looked at the teacher as she started to excitedly write big letters on the board. Realistically, that should have been his first warning; teachers being unusually excited often lead to Parker Luck™ striking again, but he was running on autopilot.As they looked back to the front of the class they saw Ms Warren step away from her masterpiece which now read Field Trip to… STARK INDUSTRIES. Underlined three times.Peter fell out of his chair.--this is the field trip trope. featuring tony in dad mode and nat being a total mama bear
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 136
Kudos: 1203





	1. peter should really sleep more

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! 
> 
> this is our first fic on ao3 so we felt we had to do a field trip one. all rights go to marvel or disney (or whoever owns these characters now) and any grammar mistakes are our own
> 
> hope you enjoy!
> 
> maria + izetta

It was a Friday afternoon, so the sleep deprived delirium that usually accompanies those last few hours of school had taken hold of Peter. Lying his head on his desk, he let his mind drift away from his boring ass AP chemistry teacher, Ms Warren currently droning on at the front of the class. I mean, he had been working on nanotech with Uncle Bruce (yes he called Bruce Banner, THE Bruce Banner uncle, crazy times) until the early hours of the morning today (yesterday?). 

A small kerfuffle of kids hurrying to put their stuff away before the bell pulled him out of the daydream, so naturally he pushed all of the pencils and sheets of random paper on his desk into his bag, not even lifting his head in the process.

He was unwillingly jerked out of his oblivion by Ms Warren's incessant calling.

“Excuse me class, how many times do I have to tell you that the bell is NOT the one to dismiss you. I am the one teaching this lesson after all and I still have another announcement.”

Peter looked at the teacher as she started to excitedly write big letters on the board. Realistically, that should have been his first warning; teachers being unusually excited often lead to Parker Luck™ striking again, but he was running on autopilot. Ned was sitting next to him, although he was bouncing in his seat so much it looked more like he was hovering above the ground. 

“Ned,” he whispered, “ do you have any idea what is going on.”

“Nope but I hope it’s something good, Ms Warren looks really excited”

“Hey losers,” MJ said whilst throwing a pencil at Peter, “you might wanna get better at whispering, we don’t want to have another Cap’s shield incident.”

MJ had realised that Peter was Spiderman after their very badly whispered conversation about Cap during sport and had never let them forget their failure ever since. She seemed to have a notebook which only seemed to contain things to tease Peter and Ned about. (like the incident with the pink paint which he refused to talk about and MJ refused to shut up about).

As they looked back to the front of the class they saw Ms Warren step away from her masterpiece which now read Field Trip to… STARK INDUSTRIES. Underlined three times.

Peter fell out of his chair.

Ned gasped.

Mj laughed at both of them (which meant blinking slightly faster than normal and quirking her lips up slightly). 

Shit.


	2. bi disaster #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter needs to get the slip signed without anyone else finding out but will he succeed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!
> 
> we have a few chapters already written and as the first one was quite short we thought we'd post number 2 as well! from the way we've mapped out the story so far there will be probably be 9 chapters so stay tuned for more updates!
> 
> hope you enjoy!  
> maria + izetta

‘Hey May!’ Peter shouted, as he walked through the door to their apartment in the tower. He was more than a little fearful at the prospect of trying to keep the field trip slip out of the hands of two super spies, two geniuses (genii?) and the Pepper Potts. 

He handed the slip over to May, frowning as she laughed and hitting her with the famous Parker Puppy Dog Eyes ™. 

‘I’ve known you for all 17 years of your life Peter Parker, those eyes have nearly lost their effect on me.’ Nearly being the keyword as she added her signature and handed it back. He hurriedly shoved it to the very bottom of his overflowing rucksack. He was hoping that all the other random pieces of paper floating around in the bag would throw the spies off the scent. Once it was safely buried he asked FRIDAY where Tony was.

“Tony is in his lab, currently drinking his 13th cup of coffee of the day” FRIDAY’s voice said. She seemed to have a soft spot for Peter (along with everyone else in the tower), portraying more emotion in her talks with Peter than with anyone else except Tony, but then again, he is her father.

‘Ok cool tell him I’m coming up.’ May rolled her eyes at her nephew’s eagerness to get to the lab. He was after all a massive nerd.

Bouncing out of the room, he hastily made a beeline for the lab, expertly avoiding all of Clint’s glitter bomb booby traps that remained from the previous week’s prank war. He arrived at the glass door of the lab just in time to hear Tony ask FRIDAY to switch his music off. He grinned, and ran inside calling out ‘Thanks Fri’ as she opened the door.

Tony turned around and smiled back at him, his eyes lighting up as he saw his young so- intern and beckoned him to come and work on the spidey suit. After an hour and a half Peter had already confiscated the coffee machine, dummy, the blowtorch and the precision tools from Tony, who had set himself on fire repeatedly and sent him upstairs to sleep. He never understood how that man was still alive. Pepper definitely had something to do with it. 

Peter grabbed the web shooters from the table and brought them to his special section of the lab, complete with frosted glass walls and a very official placard inscribed with ‘Peter Parker’, and then underneath in pink glitter, ‘bi disaster #2’. Shuri, of course, was bi disaster #1. 

He hastily finished his Spanish homework and then took his web shooters apart, looking for the broken lever that controlled the ejection of the fluid that had been bothering him. However, before he could find it FRIDAY told him that it was dinner time.

Always thankful that he no longer relied on May’s cooking, he bounded into the lift and out into the kitchen. Everyone was already sitting around waiting for him and he rushed to tuck into the massive heap of spaghetti put in front of him. Mid-way through a mouthful he heard Natasha nonchalantly say,

“Итак, когда вы собирались рассказать нам о своей поездке на поле, паук. Я здесь действительно захватывающее место в этом году.” (So when were you going to tell us about your field trip. I hear it's a really exciting location this year.)

Bucky snorted violently, almost choking on his pasta in the process and being reprimanded by Steve. Peter hastily replied, meaningfully glancing at Tony who was sitting on his other side

“Пожалуйста мама паук, не говорите, я не хочу его смущать меня.” (Please don’t tell, mama spider, I don’t want him to embarass me).

“Прекрасный паук, но я не могу обещать, что они не узнают” (Fine baby spider, but I can’t promise that they won’t find out).

She looked back down at her pasta and Peter heaved a huge sigh of relief. This attracted a few stares from his superfamily but Peter was more than accustomed to ignoring them at this point. He just continued to eat his pasta, trying to repress his mounting anxiety for the coming trip.

He was right to be nervous...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked that! the peter and natasha conversing in russian is one of our favourite tropes so we had to include it. we'll be uploading chapter 3 tomorrow. stay safe and wash your hands!


	3. FRIDAY is a traitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the day of the field trip has arrived and FRIDAY is not to be trusted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!
> 
> as promised this is the next installment in the story. this was so much fun to write and we hope you enjoy it. thanks so much to everyone who has commented or left kudos on this work - it really means a lot to us <3
> 
> maria + izetta

The next day Peter was late, as usual, to the school bus that would be taking his class on the field trip of doom. Upon seeing him, Ms Warren smiled and ushered him onto the bus, knowing that he is always late for everything (except for every meal). He settled in his seat next to Ned, who was bouncing up and down and was so excited he had lost his ability to speak, only making high-pitched squeals every couple of minutes.

Putting his head on the seat in front of him he listened in to some of the other students' conversations. Flash was raving about Spider-Man, something that Peter had not and will never get used to. In the end he settled on MJ; he found the turning of the pages on her book soothing. She also hummed very quietly under her breath sometimes, so quietly that most wouldn’t notice, but his super hearing made it very clear.

Once the bus came to a stop Ms Warren started the usual mandatory field trip lecture.

“We have arrived outside Stark industries, once we get off you will wait quietly in a group in the lobby, do not leave my sight,” she looked pointedly at Peter to punctuate this comment,” or wander off. Do not touch anything or distract anyone that seems to be working. Stark Industries employees work on incredibly time sensitive, dangerous or classified projects so they don’t need you meddling in them.

The group ignored this completely, making loud sounds of awe, Peter however kept close to Ms Warren. The lobby was exceptionally mundane compared to what he saw on a day to day basis and he didn’t want to risk running into anyone who might embarrass him. This attempt was thwarted by Parker Luck™ as the teacher called the class over, seeing the tour guide approaching.

“Hello everyone! Welcome to Stark industries. My name is Alice and I will be your tour guide today. If you could come up to collect your badges when I call your name that would be great.”

Peter shrank away to the back of the crowd, he didn’t want Alice to recognise him since she was one of the interns he worked with when he visited the lower labs. She was also his Prank War alliance, helping him create glitter darts and paint bombs (the latter had been banned by Tony after the Pink Paint incident).

“Sally Avril”

Oh no she’ll recognise my name Peter thought.

“Abraham Attah”

“Betty Brant”

Oh my God Oh my god this is a disaster.

“Jason Ionelloe”

He signalled to MJ who just shrugged and flipped him the bird.  
He made a heart with his hands (not in the weird half upside down way Tom Holland does it)  
And before he knew it Alice was calling his name.

“Peter Parker”

He looked at her with pleading eyes and she just grinned and said,

“Peter! I didn’t know you were coming on a tour - only in your life would this happen. Mr Stark will be really happy to see you, he came round the intern labs today to check on our projects.”

“Oh that’s so cool, did he like the new StarkPhone charger?”

“Yeah he said it was good!”

“High praise from Mr Stark, and what did he think of the elec…”

Peter trailed off, realising that the rest of the class was still standing behind them. He gave Alice a little smile and then shuffled to the back of the group next to Ned. 

“Didn’t know you would go so low as to pay off an intern, but I guess you’d do anything for this lie Penis Parker,” Flash snarled.

He grabbed Peter’s pass from his hand. Peter could have easily moved his hand or just held it tighter but with his secret identity, he let Flash steal it. Instead sighing internally and rolling his eyes.

“I guess you’ll just have to use your intern pass, maybe you won’t be allowed on the rest of the tour since you don’t have a badge.” Flash grinned and threw Peter’s guest pass into the bin on the side of the lobby.

Alice and Peter made eye contact, Peter trying to convey to her to move the tour along before he died. Thankfully she understood what he was trying to say and called all of their attention back to her.

“Before we start the tour, does anyone have any questions they would like to ask”

Betty Brant put her hand up, asking, “Why is your pass blue, when our passes are purple?”

Peter groaned, turning a few heads as Ned patted him on the back. Alice made direct eye contact as she started to explain. He thought she looked very evil as she did.

“There are 7 different levels of clearance here at SI. Each level has a different colour, so: Level 1 is purple, Level 2 is yellow, level 3 is blue, level 4 is green, level 5 is black, level 6 is red and level 7 is white. Each colour is rumoured to be placed after an avenger, Clint and Thor being at the bottom to get back at Clint for the endless glitter bombs and Thor for breaking every TV that Mr Stark has ever bought.”  
“Wait so which badge do the avengers have?” asked Abe.

“The Avengers all have red badges except Mr Stark. The white badges, coloured after Ms Potts, are only owned by three people, Pepper Potts, Tony Stark and one classified individual.” She gave Peter another meaningful glance as she said this before turning and guiding them all towards what simply looked like a metal detector.

“Alright, if everyone could please line up and go through the scanner. It will deactivate any mobile or recording devices you may have on your person until you pass through it again at the end of the tour, so don’t be alarmed if you can’t use the Instabook or whatever you kids are on these days.” she chuckled and walked through the scanner.

“Alice Campbell, Level 3, intern.” FRIDAY’s voice echoed around the atrium, making many of Peter’s classmates jump.

Alice smiled, “That was just FRIDAY, Mr Stark’s AI. She knows about everything that happens here in the tower so don’t try and slip anything past her! Now move along you’re holding up the queue.”

Peter moved to the back of the line, hoping nobody would notice him walk through the scanner but, once again Parker Luck™ struck. Everyone, and I mean everyone noticed.

“Petey Pie, Level 7, classified. I am notifying Mr Stark and the others of your presence, and Bucky has made cookies.”

“Please don’t FRIDAY, I’ll give you a new memory file, new cameras, anything but please don’t tell them I'm here.”

“I’m sorry Peter but, under the Nanny Cam Protocol, I have to notify them when you enter the building during schooling hours.”

FRIDAY’s voice took on a new layer of emotion at Peter’s name, calling everyone’s attention to the scanner. The guards glanced at each other and then at Alice who just shrugged, and businessmen on the other side on the other side of the hall whispered amongst themselves. Peter had forgotten to tell FRIDAY not to announce him fully since he usually took the back entrance, otherwise known as the windows. 

“How did you do it Penis Parker,” Flash jeered ,”how desperate must you be for attention to hack into Stark Industries. Besides, we both know Stark would choose me over you, I'm smarter, and just better. I-”

Before he could finish what was likely to be a long rant, MJ stepped in, meaning continuing to read her book whilst saying,

“Egotism is the anaesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. Congratulations Peter, Flash thinks you have hacked an AI created by a superhero with an IQ of 270, he must think highly of you.”

Flash couldn't figure out how to respond to that so he simply turned to Alice and asked  
“So, if he’s so important, what does Parker do here anyway? And who is the ‘them’ that Friday was talking about.”

Just as Alice was about to answer Friday cut in coldly,

“You do not have the clearance level to ask these questions.”

“But-” Flash started.

“You do not have the clearance level to ask these questions.”

Alice mock saluted one of Friday’s cameras, winked at Peter and then clapped her hands to bring the attention away from Peter. She swiftly herded the group into the nearby tour lift, and refused to answer any more questions about Peter.

Phew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed that! we have the next couple of chapters written already so make sure to bookmark this work so you don't miss out. we hope that this can provide some light relief in this challenging times and stay safe and wash your hands. until next time...


	4. junior visits the labs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter and his class visit the labs and bump into someone familiar, while peter prevents a disaster from happening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! 
> 
> as promised this is the fourth instalment in the story. we had great fun writing and researching for this chapter. we tried to make the science as realistic as possible but it's probably very inaccurate anyway. all spelling and grammar mistakes are our own, hope you enjoy!
> 
> maria + izetta

The lift doors ground to a halt with a soft ‘ping’ from FRIDAY, signalling they had reached their destination. The doors slid open to reveal a scene of what appeared to be chaos to the untrained eye. To Peter, however, it felt like coming home.

Interns were scattered in all directions; some utterly engrossed in projects at workstations with others relaxing on the sofas, strategically placed around the room (One was even lying across his desk, on top of his paperwork and assorted stationery, surrounded by empty coffee cups, snoring) . The attention of most of them however, seemed to be focused on an experiment that was taking place in the centre of the room. A blackboard covered in complicated scrawlings stood pride of place next to the equipment.

In the middle of the group, looking like a zombie, stood the one and only Bruce Banner.

Most of the class were frozen outside the entrance to the lift, completely in awe of the scene (and the scientist) before them. Peter, however, was squinting at the equations on the board but with not much success. He was of course too sleep deprived to see more than three feet in front of him. He continued trying to survey the room just as the intern woke up.

“Junior,” Dan called, “Over here!”

He turned just in time to read the labels on the side of the side of two beakers that Dan was about to knock together. In a split second, he realised that the caesium-based catalyst that was being used would cause an explosion with water in the solution of the hydrochloric acid. Foreseeing the catastrophe that was set to take place, he let his spidey sense take over. Catapulting himself across the workbench, he dove towards the beakers with both arms outstretched. Somehow he managed to separate the two before they collided. (phew!)

“Oh my god, thank you Peter, that was nearly a disaster!” Bruce fiddled with his glasses, “ do you have time to come over and look at this equation? We could really use a pair of fresh eyes.”

Peter looked between the obviously sleep deprived Bruce and the interns, who looked equally tired surrounding him.

“Alright, I can’t right now because I’m on a field trip Uncle Bruce,” he whispered, “but I promise that if you and all the other interns take a nap, I will come back and wake you up and look at it after school.”

Bruce smiled sheepishly, “okay Peter, have fun, sorry for attracting attention. Alice,” He called slightly louder, “could you please take Dan to the med bay, that foot looks like it need some medical attention. Peter can take the group up to the museum where a replacement will join them.”

He then proceeded to attempt to blend into the crowd of interns. This was very unsuccessful seeing as he was facing a group of science nerd students who all idolised him and were following his every movement with obsessive concentration.

As he moved to turn away, Flash snapped out of his shock and shouted, “How does Penis even know you, I bet he paid you off to put him in charge. I bet he’s never even met you before.”

Just like before, Friday’s cold voice echoed out in reply, “Mr Thompson you do not have the clearance to question Petey Pie’s authority, or his position.”

She then remained resolutely silent and Peter could hear the indignation radiating from her speakers.

Embarrassed, Peter muttered for his class to follow him, staring at the floor and stumbling into the lift as his class’s eyes continued to stare questioningly at him. Once in the lift, Flash tried to trip Peter up with his leg as he entered, but was of course unsuccessful. Having lost this minor contest, Flash said tauntingly,

“Hey Penis, how are you going to get anywhere in this lift when there are no buttons? You think you’re so clever but actually you’re just a fraud and I’m gonna show you up for once. You-”

Ignoring this outburst Peter calmly turned his head towards the ceiling and said “hey FRI, can you take us to the museum, thanks!”

The AI’s lilting Irish voice replied “of course, anything for you Petey Pie. Boss was notified of your arrival and has asked me to tell you that the Prank War will be commencing at 4pm.”

Peter groaned under his breath. The last thing he needed on this horrific day was the renewal of the prank war. It seemed his Parker Luck™ was inescapable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully you enjoyed that! we have the next two chapters written and we'll posting chapter 5 tomorrow so don't forget to check it out! thank you so much to everyone who has left kudos and comments on this work - it really means the world to us :) stay safe and wash your hands and until next time...


	5. clint is a birdbrain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter and his class visits the museum but the new tour guide is not who they are expecting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! 
> 
> we hope you love reading this story as much as we enjoy writing it! this is chapter number 5 and we think there will most likely be 9 in total so make sure to bookmark this work so you don't miss out. any mistakes are our own and we don't own the characters. hope you enjoy!
> 
> maria + izetta

Ding.

The lift door opened to reveal the museum. Like the rest of the tower, it was a sleek room, monochrome except for the coloured suits displayed in cases much like the cases in Mr Stark’s lab which were used for his Iron Man suits. His class followed Peter into the hall, in awe of the superhero paraphernalia that filled it.

“Okay, look around until our new tour guide arrives and then they can tell us where our next stop will be!” Peter announced.

Flash immediately gravitated to the Spider-man costume that was displayed on the far left. 

“Oh look, it’s a case about Parker’s best friend Spider-man,” he taunted, “yet another lie you told Penis, but I doubt Spidey would take your bribes, he’s much too good for that.”

Meanwhile Ned was busy nudging Peter and giggling at the stifling irony of the situation.

Peter failed to see the funny side, he was getting more and more worried about how much danger Flash and his secret identity was in around the avengers. He drifted towards the Black widow case, staring into space, until he felt a hand in his. MJ was standing next to him, having put her book down and looking straight ahead, seemingly admiring Black widow’s throwing stars.

“It’s going to be okay Peter, the avengers would do anything for you, and you know your puppy eyes work on everyone, even me loser. Just focus on your breathing. I love you Peter.”

She gave him a quick peck on the cheek whilst no-one was looking and, still holding his hand, dragged Peter to join Ned who was fanboying over Bucky’s first metal arm (made an antique by Mr Stark’s (and of course Peter’s) upgrades).

Just then they heard a strange rattling from the vents above them. Peter looked to his friends, made a bird symbol with his free hand, pointed to the ceiling and then counted down,

“3… 2… 1…” 

Smash.

Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, aka birdbrain #1, aka featherhead #2 fell through the grate and on top of Flash and Abe who were admiring the Thor display to their left. 

“Hello I am your new tour guide,” Clint announced, rubbing the shoulder he had landed on and getting up off the floor.

“What the fuck Richard,” Abe shouted, not having realised that the missile that just hit him was, in fact (I mean really) an Avenger.

“Ugh” Peter groaned, “does it have to be you Unc- Mr Barton, this day is already bad enough without you shooting an arrow at my head.” He stage whispered the last part, Ned snorting beside him, that glitter never had come out of Mr Stark’s MIT hoodie.

“Now, don’t be rude to me, I’m an Avenger, and also, what happened to Uncle Clint. I’m so offended I might just have to call Tones down!” He said gleefully at Peter’s blushing face.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

“Fine, but I’m telling Uncle Bucky not to give you any peanut butter Volcano cookies!” Threatened Peter.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

“You would-.”

Peter was interrupted by a small cough from MJ beside him. Oh no, he had forgotten that his class was still there, all of them were staring at the two, not sure how to respond to the exchange that the normally timid Peter had just had with THE Hawkeye.

“Oh close your mouths, you’ll catch flies”, MJ scolded the class “and don’t even bother with the questions again. If you don’t know by now that you aren’t classified to ask those questions let alone know the answers to those inevitably dense questions, you shouldn't be in this school.”

She aimed the last part directly at Flash, who had already opened his mouth to ask his outraged questions. He snapped it shut quickly, and settled for glaring at Peter’s back for the rest of the tour.

Clint clapped his hand over Peter’s shoulder and tried to pull him up to the front. He was very reluctant to let go of MJ’s hand, which Clint just took as more ammunition. 

“Don’t want to leave you star(k)-crossed lover mini-Stark?” Clint teased Peter.

MJ levelled the avenger with a glare but not before Peter had turned into a tomato. He sighed under his breath,

“Why the holy Mona Lisa do I have to have Parker Luck™?” 

For the next half hour the class continued to tour around the museum before Clint called everyone to attention.

“All right children, that’s enough fangirling over inanimate objects. Now, you were supposed to visit the Sales Department next but that’s boring and a little bird told me that you would like to take a detour. Next stop, Training Room!”

Peter grimaced. If Clint had been told to go to the Training Room, that could only mean one thing. Tony was in on this and had decided he wanted to send his favourite intern to death by embarrassment. Great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed that! don't forget to comment and leave kudos if you liked our work, it really means so much to us <3 stay safe and wash your hands and until next time...


	6. спарринг-сессия мамы-паука (mama spider’s sparring session)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter and his class visit the training room - what and who will they find there...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!
> 
> we hope you enjoy this sixth chapter! please leave comments and kudos they mean so much to us. <3 since we last posted this work reached 1000 hits so thank you to each and every one of you who has read this, we hope you enjoy this next bit!
> 
> maria + izetta

The lift dinged once again, signalling the beginning of his impending doom. Peter had shrunk behind the crowd in an attempt to hide from the inhabitants of the room he was about to walk into. He knew it was futile but he was willing to try anything at this point. He was genuinely considering just not leaving the lift and going to his bed upstairs, but he had a reputation for leaving school trips and he really didn’t want to listen to more of Uncle Steve’s PSAs in detention.

As the group entered the room, Clint signalled to Nat, who was sitting by the side, evidently supervising Steve and Bucky’s fight alongside the empty Iron Man suit. Peter scoffs. The avengers had agreed to supervise all of Steve and Bucky’s matches to prevent them from getting ‘carried away whilst in close proximity’.

“как ты убил капитана америку,” (how did you take down Captain America) Aunt Nat shouted to Bucky.

“Я ударил его по ногам, потому что его щит размером с обеденную тарелку, а он идиот.” (I hit him in the legs because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he is an idiot) Bucky shouted back, swiping Steve’s legs out from under him. Peter snorted at the vine reference, drawing the attention of his confused class who had no idea what was going on because they were talking in RUSSIAN.

At that moment a loud, “Dummy, don’t you dare shoot me with that thing I asked for a blowtorch not potassium bicarbonate” came from the Iron man suit standing by the wall. A second later a swoosh sound was heard and the suit crashed to the floor. This distracted Natasha for a second, a second Bucky put to good use, leaning down and kissing Steve, who was still pinned under him.

The class gasped, Flash whispering under his breath “my fanfictions were real,” Cindy sounded very disappointed, Betty squealed with excitement at a gay couple being in the Avengers and MJ rolled her eyes at all of them. Ned was speechless and quite clearly panicked at being confronted by three (four) of his idols. 

Realising they had an audience, Steve broke the kiss. He moved to stand, dragging Bucky towards the group with Natasha following.

“Время смущать паука” (time to embarrass the baby spider), Natasha said pointing Peter out to Bucky, and winking at him, “но сначала я собираюсь поставить его на место,” (but first, I’m gonna put him in his place,” she announced glaring daggers at Flash.

Bucky whispered the translation to Steve who quickly made the connection between Peter’s bully and Flash. He grinned and stated, “we will be teaching you a little self defence by giving you the opportunity to spar with Natash! Alright, who would like to go first?”

Everyone except Peter and MJ put their hands up, Ned was practically hovering above the ground with excitement.

Natasha however, pointed at Flash, who moved to stand opposite her on the mat. Steve counted down.

3

Flash moved into a sloppy fighting stance with a cocky smirk on his face.

2

Natasha remained perfectly still, arching one eyebrow.

1

Flash lunged forward, Natasha crouched to the floor and flipped him over one leg, rolling to press his neck to the floor with her forearm.

Flash groaned and tapped the floor.

“You lasted 4.3 seconds, well done, that’s not the worst score I’ve ever seen,” Bucky smirked, sarcasm dripping from his words.

Natasha just stood up, smoothed out her suit and made eye contact with Peter,

“Бэби паук, подойди сюда и поиграй со мной.” (Baby spider come up here and spar with me.)

“Должен ли я к маме паук?” (Do I have to Mama spider?) Peter replied, already walking towards the mat, knowing that it was no use to complain.

She just smiled and said, “тебе лучше не сдерживаться или нет привилегий заколки для волос в течение месяца  
.” (You better not hold back or no rainbow hair clip privileges for a month)

He shook his head, willing to deal with the danger of arguing with Aunt Nat in order to protect his identity, “Я собираюсь сдерживать свои силы, но я буду бороться, как могу без них.” (I’m going to hold back my powers but I’ll fight as best I can without them.).

“Отлично.” (Fine)

They both grinned at each other.

3

Peter stepped back into his stance, looking to Aunt Nat for her approval.

2

Natasha stepped back into her own stance, giving Peter a wink and a smile.

1

The fight started, both moving with unexpected fluidity. Peter dodged Natasha’s quick punches and kicks, crouching on the floor and trying to take her legs out from under her. She tripped, but used it to roll and stand up closer to Peter in a surprise attack. As she went to hit his stomach he grabbed his hand, made eye contact, giggled and then flipped her. She grabbed his ankle, flipping him as she fell so that they were both on the ground next to each other. Peter moved to put her in a headlock but before he could get a good grasp she ducked out of it, grabbing his arm and pinning it to the ground in an arm lock. He however, still in an arm lock simply stood up.

As the class watched puny, nerdy, penis Parker spar with a super spy for over a minute successfully, and carry her on his back after speaking Russian to her, they were... well, shocked. There was not a single emotion on any of their faces other than shock (except for Ned and MJ who were bored and excited, (guess which is which).)

The fight finally ended when Natasha carried out her signature move, bringing Peter to the floor with her thighs and keeping him in a headlock until he tapped out.

They both stood up, dusting off their clothes, Peter blushing and looking like he wanted nothing more than for the floor to swallow him up.

“You lasted for 3 minutes and 14 seconds,” Steve announced to the pair, looking very proud.

“Молодец, паук, сегодня вечером у нас будет парикмахерская,” (Well done Baby spider, hair club tonight to celebrate.” Natasha rubbed Peter’s shoulder warmly.

“Спасибо мама паук увидимся вечером,” (Thanks Mama Spider, see you tonight.)

Steve and Bucky watched the exchange, Bucky once again whispering the translation to Steve, using it as an excuse to wrap his arms around his waist and pull Steve into him. He then said out loud much to Peter’s embarrassment,

“Awww look, our baby nephew is getting all grown up! Stevie we definitely should get a kid of our own.” 

This made, to Peter’s relief, the class whip around to stare at the couple, most of them stating aloud how cute they thought the couple was and how they wished someone would love them like that.

Peter used this temporary distraction to slip back into the students’ ranks in between Ned and MJ, grabbing his girlfriend’s hand subtly and giving a small wave back to his Mama Spider with the other.

Before the class went into full fan mode, Clint arrived back at the training room, carrying a half eaten volcano cookie. He ushered all of the students back into the lift. When they were all jammed in, Peter felt an elbow pressing into his side, Flash whispered to him,

“I don’t know how you pulled this off Penis, but you don’t fool me. I’m going to prove that your internship is fake once and for all and then I’ll make you sorry you ever lied.”

When Peter saw the floor that the lift had stopped on, he suddenly became very sorry. Sorry for the fate Flash would face Tony fucking Stark found out he bullied his son.

Ding

“Floor 98”

“Tony Stark’s private lab.”

Oh Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we hope you enjoyed that! stay safe and wash your hands and until next time...


	7. dr stark, mr stark, dad?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter and his class visit tony's lab but what will they find there...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!
> 
> apologies for not updating yesterday, we hadn't quite finished this chapter yet but we hope you enjoy it anyway. we don't own the characters and any mistakes are our own. hope you enjoy!
> 
> maria + izetta

Peter’s heart was beating incredibly fast when the doors of the lift opened. He had no idea what to expect - he wouldn’t put it past Tony to have organised a welcoming party with banners and balloons designed specifically to embarrass him. So when the scene revealed in front of him seemed to be ordinary, Peter was hugely relieved.

The genius, playboy, philanthropist (and dad) extraordinaire was hard at work, assisted by his ‘bots on a table. His latest project (bags of glitter that exploded when touched) was in the centre of his workbench, with the surrounding holographs showing potential designs. There was a distinct smell of fire extinguisher in the air, leaving Peter wondering exactly what his dad had been up to while he was at school. 

If the class’s reaction to seeing Bruce had been extreme then their reaction to seeing Tony was off the scale, as for many of them he was their ultimate idol. 

Betty screamed. Ned started hyperventilating. Jason fainted. Flash was silent for once in his life. MJ raised one eyebrow and then went back to reading her book. Peter just smiled at his classmates’s reactions and called out,

‘Hey old man! Ready to lose the Prank War again?’

This attracted Tony’s attention. He whipped his head around to look at the group of teenagers that had invaded his lab. Upon finding his son in the gaggle, he winked at him, and then looked down significantly at Peter and MJ’s joined hands. For the second time that day Peter turned into a tomato.

“Hello small children!” Tony exclaimed.

“Hey I’m not a child,” Clint grumbled.

Both Peter and Tony turned to him and raised their eyebrows.

“Oh shut up!”

Clint just rolled his eyes and lifted himself up into the nearest vent.

“I should really close those up at some point.” Tony said to himself.

“Today,” he continued, “you have been granted a once in a lifetime, all expenses paid tour of this lab! Don’t touch anything, don’t read anything you shouldn’t, basically don’t do anything I would do.”

He waited for a couple of seconds, observing the starstruck class.  
“Ok what are you waiting for? Hop to it!”

Once the class had spread around the room, he grabbed Peter’s shoulder,

“You’re with me Underoos.”

Tony dragged Peter over to his work bench and sat him down on the stool next to him. They started working on the newest Spider-Man suit, fixing the damage that Peter had done to it falling off a building on the previous night’s patrol.

“So,” Tony smirked, “I saw you holding hands with that girl over there early, What’s her name, BJ, TJ… There something going on there?”

He nudged Peter in the side who just groaned and replied:

“W- well um…”

Trailing off, he was saved by MJ (Yes, MJ Mister Stark), walking up to the bench.

“Hello, being a bit obvious about the whole,” she points to the suit, “thing aren’t we? Anyway, I would like to have an interview with Ms Potts about her role in breaking the glass ceiling in the male dominated world of technology, if she is ever free. Your work, Dr Stark, on green energy is also admirable.” MJ stated calmly.

“You seem sharp, Pepper will like you,” Mr Stark answered, but MJ was already retreating.

“She remembered my doctorates” Mister Stark mouthed to Peter, “Your mom will be excited to meet your girlfriend,” he teased.

Peter just stuck his tongue out and turned back to the suit in front of them, Mr Stark following suit, until Abe exclaimed,

“Wait what is that door for?” He is pointing towards a frosted glass door in the corner of the room.

“Why does it have Parker’s name on it, it can’t possibly be for him, he’s too puny and stupid and weak.”

Tony gritted his teeth and calmly (on the surface) replied “FRI, visitor code 5749,” then directed at Flash and the class, “why don’t you go in.”

They opened the door just in time to see multiple drawers close at lightning speed which contained the potentially identity revealing or classified parts of the lab. On the desk in the centre of the room was one taken apart web shooter, one fully constructed web shooter, and Peter’s Spanish homework, which he had forgotten to take into school and therefore got detention. 

As the class moved around the lab, they got closer and closer to the desk, Peter, not realising what was going on, kept intently working on rewiring the night-vision scanners in his goggles. Then, his first classmate saw it. Betty held the homework up to show to Cindy, “I guess he wasn’t lying about leaving it at home then,” she shrugged. The rest of the class all slowly turned to look at Peter, only now realising that he was literally fixing a superhero suit with Tony fucking Stark like it was an everyday occurance.

“Oh my God, it wasn’t a lie,” Cindy whispered, she looked around her, taking in the Spider-Man paraphernalia strewn around the lab, “and you know Spider-Man!” She said a little louder, to Peter who was standing next to Mr Stark, looking sheepish in the doorway.

“Uh yeah,” Tony answered for him,”him and Spider-man are practically inseparable, you should see them, you could swear they never leave each other’s side.” Winking at Peter. Ned scoffed and MJ raised an eyebrow. Did he really have to be so obvious? (the answer is of course - he's tony stark)

“There’s no way that’s true, he’s Puny Parker, he can’t be friends with Spider-man,” Flash shouted angrily.

Peter could feel Tony seething by his side, worried he was about to commit first degree murder, Peter turned his head away from the class and whispered,

“Dad, calm down, you can’t kill, maim, torture or otherwise harm minors. It’s ok, let me deal with it.”

“No Pete, I know you can deal with it but you shouldn’t have to deal with that douchebag.”

“Did you just call him Dad,” Abe exclaimed from the front of the class.

“Dude you really gotta get better at whispering,” Ned said, looking over to MJ, who just gave Ned the side eye and raised an eyebrow.

“Alright, I think it’s time for the Q and A part of this session, you can ask what you want about what just happened then.” Not even bothering to hide the ice in his voice, instead directing it straight at Flash, locking his jaw and glaring at him as he whipped around and strode back towards his own lab.

Flash was in such deep shit...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed this story! only two more chapters to go now. stay safe and wash your hands and until next time...


	8. pink glitter and ice cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter and his class have the dreaded q + a, and the prank war begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!
> 
> so sorry for not updating this sooner! we both went back to online school a few days ago so we've had much less time to write this. we will be uploading the final chapter as soon as we can don't worry! thanks so much to everyone who's read, commented or left kudos to this story - when we first started writing this we never imagined we would get more than 2000 hits! anyway, we don't own anything except the plot and the oc's. hope you enjoy!
> 
> maria + izetta

While the students were gathered around Tony’s desk, Clint ran back into the lab, followed by Steve, Bucky, Bruce, Pepper and Natasha.

“FRIDAY activated P.P.P.S protocol, so we thought we should drop in to check on you, we don’t want a repeat of the Mentos Incident.” Pepper said.

“Well, I think Peter here may have neglected to tell us that someone is bullying him at school.” Tony replied.

All of the Avengers in the room slowly turned to face the class, following Tony’s pointed stare towards Flash. Nat took a miniscule step forwards, bunching her fists at her side, only to be pulled back by Peter.

“No Nat, you can’t kill minors, remember, that’s bad. Please,” Peter whispered to her, using his best puppy eyes.

“We won’t kill him, Peter, but I don’t like bullies. Son, you better stay away from Peter from now on, he is a kind boy and he doesn’t deserve anyone making his life difficult for him.” Steve said, trying to keep the rest of the Avengers calm.

Pepper however, did not have any of these doubts. Walking up to Flash she lowered her voice so that only Flash would hear her:

“If you do anything to my baby, I will hunt you down, sue you for all you are worth and then kick you into the sun. Personally.”

Flash’s face was now so pale, it barely resembled his natural skin tone. He shakingly nodded his head and took a step away from Pepper. 

Pepper smiled, sickly sweet, and replied, “great, I’m glad we’re on the same page about that one.”

Satisfied that Flash was going to leave her son alone, Pepper told the class to go next door to the living room and to sit on the sofas for the Q and A. This was easier said than done, as when the class realised they were entering the living space of the Avengers(!), they immediately started ogling everything around them. Flash was about to pick up Nat’s rainbow hairbrush for inspection when Tony cried out,

“Hey you! What did I say about no touching! That rule applies in here as well.”

Flash shrunk back into the crowd as he felt the Avenger’s glares focused on him once more.

“Right, questions, questions,” Tony exclaimed to the crowd, winking and slumping onto the (very expensive looking) sofa behind him, “sit small children and hit me and also maybe them,” he pointed to the rest of the avengers who were settling into their own seats, “with your best.”

Immediately, the class scrambled to sit on the floor facing the world’s mightiest heroes, most with their hands up and surprisingly, completely silent.

Tony pointed at Abe first,

“Did Peter just call you Dad?”

“Right does anyone have a question for any of us that is not about Peter?”

Everyone’s hands went down except MJ’s.

“Fire away… MJ, I’m guessing this is for the Ladies.”

“I was wondering if I could schedule a time with you, Ms Romanova and Ms Potts later to talk about your journeys to the top in your male dominated fields, I would ask now but a minute is not adequate time to do your achievements justice.” MJ asked, making direct eye contact and remaining business-like, despite the fact that she was fan-girling so much over being in the same room as her heroes.

Natasha smirked, arched an eyebrow at Pepper and replied,

“I like you, is 5:30 tomorrow afternoon okay for you?”

“Of course Ms Romanova.” MJ squealed (she didn’t but she thought it).

“Any other questions, yup you, over there, yeah fire away.”

“Why does Peter have his own lab?” Betty asked.  
“Ok I can see that we aren’t forgetting about Peter anytime soon so get up here Peter…” Tony ordered.

“But Mr Stark,” He groaned already dragging his feet over to where his mentor/father-figure was sitting, knowing it was useless to try to get out of this.

Tony slung his arm around Peter.

“Peter has a lab here because he works with me a lot, kinda like a personal intern.”

“But he called you dad!” Abe reminded them once again.

Tony just looked expectantly at Peter, smirking slightly.

“Well, since I spent way too much time at the tower anyway, Mr Stark invited me to stay overnight once, and ever since then I kinda stay here every other weekend. It’s how I know those idiots,” he nodded towards the avengers, “and Mr Stark just became a father-figure I guess.”

“Aw bambino, you better start calling me Tony or you’re grounded for three months.” Tony teased Peter

“Of course Doctor Stark,” he smirked back.

“That’s worse and you know it.”

“Damn right I do.”

“Oh you are so going down in this prank war cucciolo. Just you wait.”

The class watched this exchange with disbelief. They already knew that Mr Stark and Peter must know each other at that point, but they had BANTER. Puny Parker and Tony Fucking Stark were bantering. As they were trying to pick their jaws up from the floor, Tony just said,

“Right, I think that’s enough explanation,” raising an eyebrow at the shocked class, “I think the tour is over now, birdbrain, you're the tour guide, take them down to the lobby, I’ll keep bambino here so we can have our prank war.”

Clint just groaned and with minimal protest from the class (who were STILL in shock) started shepherding them towards the lift. 

About half way toward the lift, a small ding sounded, simply thinking that the lift had arrived, Clint kept going, taking two steps before…  
BANG

His and the first couple of students behind him, one of which just so happened to be Flash, were covered in a spattering of Pink glitter.

“No fair, the prank war hasn’t started yet,” Clint complained.

“What did you think the ding was for?” Tony questioned incredulously.

“The lift?”

“Come on Clint,” Peter smirked, “you should know that the lifts here are all completely silent. Good luck getting to the lobby without any more shocks, as of now, all of my glitter bombs have been installed in booby traps around the tower. The interns have been briefed not to tell you where - I won’t make the same mistake I did last time.” He glared at Tony.

“What! I’m their boss, it’s not like they weren’t going to tell me!” He stated.

“Oh shut up old man.” Peter groaned as he watched his class leave with a slouching Clint. “I’m in such deep shit for school tomorrow.”

Tony just patted his back and grinned at him.

“Ice cream?”

“Ice cream.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we hope you enjoyed this! please let us know what you think in the comments :) stay safe and wash your hands, and until next time...


	9. goodbye parker luck™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter goes back to school after the field trip...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!
> 
> so sorry we didn't manage to get this up earlier but we've been really busy with homework and things :( this is it! the last chapter! we can't believe this story is already over but we have some more ideas for fics in the future - comment anything you want to see us do! thank you so so much to everyone who has read this work - we hope you like the ending!
> 
> maria + izetta

Peter set his alarm early for the next day at school, hoping to arrive before the hallways were filled with SI gossip. Unfortunately his plan meant that he got even less sleep than he usually did. When he woke up, his sleep deprivation had reached a whole new level. He forced himself out of bed and, without opening his eyes, got dressed and headed to school. He kept having to force his eyes open whilst he walked to the train but thankfully, the train stopped in the station just as he walked up to it. Grateful, he sat down in the train and leaned his head back, relying on his spidey-sense to stop him from missing his stop.

Unfortunately, although there had been a train in the station, it was not his train, taking him in a completely different direction. Two stops later he sat up quickly, looking around and dashing off the train, groaning as he did so.

When he finally arrived at school, he stood a street away, looking at his watch.

Great, 5 minutes before homeroom, why does my life have to be like this?

He took a deep breath and walked through the doors. Immediately he was crowded by a group of teenagers, grabbing onto his arms and giving him their phone numbers and trying to be his friend. He pretended not to notice and, with his head down, continued towards his locker where Ned and MJ were waiting for him.

MJ frowned, seeing all of the come-ons Peter was currently having to brush she decided to say something. Shoving through the crowd so that she was standing in front of Peter protectively she shouted,

“Now listen up, all of you are gonna turn around and walk back down this hallway, without giving Peter any more love notes alright,”

Peter placed a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her down,

“Frankly I think it is disgusting that all of you people who didn’t spare a glance towards Peter before this trip are now suddenly infatuated with him, honestly you are all disgraces.”

She then surveyed the crowd and slowly, very slowly, pulled Peter in to kiss her. She kept him there for about 30 seconds to ensure that the crowd got the point, and finally released him. She smirked at his bright red face.

“Why is he so cute when he’s embarrassed” she thought, but instead of saying that she just shouted “Scram” to all of the shell shocked students frozen in place by the blatant power move.

Peter just continued to stare at MJ,

“You didn’t need to do that MJ.”

“Of course I didn’t, but only I get to come onto my loser,” she kissed his cheek and then said

“Bye losers, you should probably go to your lesson, I doubt Ms Warren will have forgotten about you!”

“Don’t be late tonight MJ,” Peter shouted after her.

“Yeah yeah,” she waved back.  
Ned grabbed his hand and started rambling about the new lego Imperial Star Destroyer that he was hoping to get for his birthday. Peter however was busy worrying about how Ms Warren and the rest of his class would treat him after the field trip.

As they walked over the threshold of the classroom, a silence fell,

“Oh God” Peter thought, looking at the floor. He stumbled over to his seat, avoiding eye contact with everyone. He shrunk back in his seat, feeling himself turning red, uncomfortable with all eyes on him. Ms Warren attempted to start the class, but none of her students with the exception of Peter and Ned (kinda) were concentrating. Or rather they were, but on Peter, not on the lesson.

“Alright guys, I can see I’m not gonna get anything out of you before you get some answers out of Peter, as long as you are ok with it?” Ms Warren asked, turning to Peter. He simply nodded in response, mentally preparing to avoid any and all questions without giving away his secret identity.

“So… um, how did Tony Stark even find you,” Abe questioned.

“Well, ummmm, I was kinda selling fixed and upgraded StarkPhones. I mean I changed them enough so it wasn’t illegal, you know the coding and circuitry and things, but he found me and made me an intern and then you would have to ask him from there.” Peter stuttered through his scripted lie.

“Wait, you re-engineered a Stark phone, that’s so cool!” Betty said.

“Yeah but Ned did most of the coding,” he replied.

“How do you know the avengers?”

“When I became Mr Stark’s personal intern, he asked me to run between him and the avengers with their upgrades and questions and stuff. So I guess I just kinda got to know them.” If Peter was being honest, he actually didn’t know how he had become close to the Avengers but they just seemed to like him. Peter thought about it a lot but could never work out what he had done.

“I want your life man, ugh, you are so lucky!”

“I guess I really am.”

At that point he turned back to the front of the classroom, hoping that Ms Warren would get the message and begin the lesson. Thankfully she did so he decided to catch up on his sleep.

“Mr Parker, would you like to answer this question for me,” Ms Warren raised one of her eyebrows at him, knowing he wasn’t paying attention.

“The answer is 57.3 + 4i.” The class who were struggling with it looked at him in shock, he hadn’t even used a calculator.

“What, I learnt that stuff with Mr Stark like 2 years ago.”

Everyone just grinned, because any student showing up a teacher is always hilarious.

Peter simply felt strangely relieved. It was nice knowing people believed him now and Flash would probably stop bullying him now, and if at lunch they made eye contact that seemed to be an apology, Peter would never say anything, but everyone noticed the change in his behaviour. Essentially he was no longer a jerk.

His Parker Luck™ had finally run out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let us know what you thought of this work in the comments - it means so so much to us! stay safe and wash your hands and see you in the next story...

**Author's Note:**

> please comment what you think! there will be more chapters coming which we'll post in the coming days. stay safe and wash your hands. until next time...


End file.
